Get Smashed - Punk News

Reviewed by klonny | September 2010

If there's two things in this world I love more than anything else, it has to be punk rock and video games. That's why I'm thankful that's I've bumped into The Hextalls. Simple but definitely fun, Get Smashed is a wild pop punk album that rips all the way through without any downtime.

With an album that kicks off with the lyrics "Who wants to get drunk and smash bumper cars? I do! I do!" you should probably know what you're getting into. 'I'm a Recluse!' sets the album in motion without any intent of stopping, followed by a song about a dad masturbating to country music and then a hilarious homage to Pacman. By now its almost difficult to continue listening without a big grin across your face.

With more fun, fast, and short pop-punk songs, the album takes its self-awareness to a new level with Generic Mid-Record Power Ballad which, in all brutal honesty, describes the song in its entirety pretty well. After a couple more songs of mourning relationships and alcoholism, the album pulls into its absolute funnest song based off one of the greatest video games in the past few years, We're The Castle Crashers. And anyone who's played Castle Crashers with a couple friends will have an incredibly difficult time not falling in love with this little gem. Being the (personal) biggest highlight of the album, the last few songs almost feel disappointing in comparison.

But hey, that's The Hextalls Get Smashed. Its pop-punk. It doesn't make an attempt to revolutionize the genre, or write poetic lyrics to make you contemplate your existance or anything, no, its just FUN, and anyone looking to fill that little niche won't need to look much further than this.

Get Smashed - STMonline

Review uncredited | June 2010

[Translated (poorly) from the original Japanese article with Yahoo! Babelfish]

As for Canada the Vancouver product pop flat tire band. . . Trade and industry 3rd (? ) With the album which becomes! When you called Canada, however the band such as SMUGGLERS and CHIXDIGGIT etc with the pop flat tire scene is famous, as for this band it is finished in the pop flat tire sound where you can feel the influence from the band of that just. Being simple, the style like whether with sound of the style like whether it shaved wastefulness to the extremity and dropped of, simple and even [kiyatsuchi] you said of, has been fixed exactly. From the pop flat tire fan of the Canadian product, around lover SQUIRTGUN, SCREECHING WEASEL and QUEERS you recommend to the person. All the 17 tune entering!

Get Smashed - Razorcake

Reviewed by Adrian | June 2010

Competent, knowingly dumb (at least I hope it's knowlingly), pop punk in the vein of the Queers (when they're not being a surf band), Chixdiggit (or at least from what I can remember from the couple times I listened to them), or maybe the early Blink-182 stuff (before they were able to keep from putting boner jokes in their power ballads). I don't think there's exactly a glut of bands doing this kind of pop punk anymore that aren't the Queers (who, at this point, are probably trying to be a '50s doo wop band), so if it's your thing, this is worth a couple spins. I'm realizing that's not really pull quote material, but so it goes. The odd: It's really weird to start off your album with chanting the name of your singer. I dunno how I feel about that.

Get Smashed - The Punk Site

Reviewed by Bobby Gorman | March 31st, 2010

There are certain times were a CD comes out of nowhere and simply blows you away within the first few seconds. There are times where those first few seconds will end up being the highlight of the album; but if you're extremely lucky, the band will be able to continue blowing you away for the entire album. Vancouver's The Hextalls are one of those rare bands that come out of nowhere, blows you away with the opening track (which, in this case, is I'm A Recluse!) and continues to wow you for the entire album; and because of that, Get Smashed becomes the first great pop-punk album of the new decade and an early front runner to end in several year end lists nine months from now.

Far from extremely innovative, The Hextalls take the best elements of every pop-punk band around and merge them together into a tight, cohesive, fun and energetic outburst of nonsense. There are elements of Screeching Weasel in the power chords and vocal delivery, there's some Teenage Bottle Rocket sing-alongs, some similarities to Edmonton's The Old Wives, nonsensical lyrics like Nerf Herder and Chixdiggit - just with a sound similar to the later than the former.

Cramming seventeen tracks into less than thirty minutes of play time, I'll admit that Get Smashed has a few songs that fly by without note (I doubt I'd be able to pick out Generic Mid-Record Power Ballad and Diaper Change if I heard them again) but the ones that stick really stand out. You get the ultra catchy sing-along Mark Wilson (that sounds like a punkier cut from Jupiter Sunrise). There's the hilarious, minute long Pacman love song in Pacman which is a pop-punk song that Nerf Herder wish they wrote. And, of course, there's those few hidden gems that clock in at around ten seconds each like Rally, Tina Turner and I'm Hiding Your Car Keys In The Garbage that are as comical as they are short.

This is Lookout Records in its prime. This has some Red Scare elements to it and some Asian Man tendencies as well. Think of every band I've mentioned in the review so far along with The Ergs, Squirtgun, Face to Face, The Riptides and The Riverdales. Now, mix them together and you'll get The Hextalls. So if you're looking to add another band to the list of awesome pop-punk bands, look no further than this Vancouver quartet.

Get Smashed - Go Metric

Reviewed by Joe Evans III | March 15rd, 2010

The Hextalls embody the exactly what I like about pop punk. They write catchy songs, are lots of fun to listen to, and they don't take themselves seriously (Have you ever seen a pop punk band that DOES take itself way too seriously? I have, and it's always TERRIBLE). They use goofy humor and references, and have songs about hockey, video games. There's a few inside jokes as well, but they can still be mildly appreciated by someone on the outside, if for no better reason they seem to enjoying themselves so much. Conversely, when they do get serious for a moment, it makes them all the more charming. And while I understand that ultimately a band like The Hextalls isn't for everyone, I hold them in the same regard as I do their fellow Vancouver, B.C. Canadian Nardwuar the Human Serviette; If you're not into it, you're probably no fun, and I don't want to hang out with you.

Get Smashed - Jersey Beat

Reviewed by Jim Testa | March 13th, 2010

Even if you don't get all the Pop-Punk Message Board in-jokes, the musical shout-outs to the Copyrights and Steinways, or the references to Dateless, Rally Records, and Dear Landlord, you'll get a smile out of the latest from Vancouver's Hextalls. The band writes ultra-catchy singalong pop tunes about video games, Tina Turner, baby poo, Bryan Adams, dead grandma's, and horny dads, all set to ultra-catchy pop-punk with singalong choruses, gleefully cadging riffs from Screeching Weasel, Teenage Bottlerocket, and the Ramones. "I Don't Wanna Be A New York Ranger" ranks as the best pop song about hockey since the Hanson Brothers, and there's even a "Generic Mid-Record Power Ballad." This is hands down my favorite punk record of the year so far. Pardon me while I crack another beer and listen to it again.

Get Smashed - Go Metric

Reviewed by Kelly Lynn | March 3rd, 2010

The Hextalls are the premiere Canadian silly-fun, kinda-crass, always-funny-even-when-sincere pop-punk band, and their new record Get Smashed lives up to all those hyphenated adjectives. While not as cohesive as their last full-length release, Call it a Comeback, Get Smashed has some of the catchiest songs ever released by the Hextalls, including "Pac Man" and "I Met Her At The Ropetow," which boasts a three-part anthemic singalong outro that isn't boring as well as standout bass work.

There are some skippable tunes that are more lyrically "generic" than I've come to expect from the Hextalls, which is even acknowledged in the title of "Generic Mid-Record Ballad." This is evidenced again in "My X-Box Got the Red Ring of Death" but my annoyance with this song stems mostly from the piano quarter notes throughout that sound like a Honda somewhere has a door ajar.

Despite the somewhat-uneven flow of the record, in terms of production values and amount of musical talent, this release is the best yet for the Hextalls. If you like straightforward pop punk with strong harmonies and an irreverent tone - even if you're not on the inside of the in-jokes; even if you don't know (the man, the myth, the legend) Mark Wilson - it's unlikely you'll have a quarrel with this album. Four stars.

Get Smashed - RockFreaks.net

Reviewed by PP | March 3rd, 2010

"Who wants to get drunk and smash bumper cars?" is the opening line of Vancouver, Canada based The Hextall's appropriately titled fifth album "Get Smashed", summing up what the band and this album is all about in just one short sentence. Great, crunchy old school pop punk songs about getting drunk and doing stupid things, with hilarious lyrics ranging from catching your dad in the middle of the night wanking to Shania Twain country videos ("My Dad Vs. Shania Twain") and skipping church to play Pacman ("Pacman") to your Xbox not working ("My Xbox Got The Red Ring Of Death") and hating New York Rangers ("I Don't Wanna Be A New York Ranger")....yeah, you may have guessed it, this album isn't from the most serious end of the musical spectrum, but that's also it's biggest strength. They don't take themselves seriously, but don't fall into any of the cliche/generic traps either, firing two to three minute power pop tracks on all cylinders without stopping for any boring slow sections. In fact, they've got enough self irony to call one of their songs "Generic Mid-Record Power Ballad".

The guitars will bring into mind bands like Teenage Bottlerocket or Screeching Weasel, while the vocals lean strongly towards New Found Glory, but actually the closest match for The Hextalls is probably a band they've never heard about: the local Copenhagen pop punk outfit The National Shut Up. They, too, are renowned for their hilarious lyricism and unserious pop punk, which is what really sets The Hextalls apart from the rest of the genre. Lines like "your tongue was dancing in the mouth of some other guy" or " are as smart as they are funny, and when combined with bouncy, fast-paced instrumentation, they result in a super fun album that's perfect for all of us from the attention deficit disorder generation. With 17 songs packed into just over 28 minutes, the record is perfect length without feeling like it's hurried at all. And no, don't expect to hear any lightning speed d-beat punk rock either - there's no need when you have songs like "Rally" (11 seconds), "Tina Turner" (12 seconds) and "Diaper Change" (40 seconds).

Best songs on the record are "We're The Castle Crashers", "I'm A Recluse!", "I Don't Wanna Be A New York Ranger", "Bryan Adams", "I Met Her At The Ropetow" and "Pacman", but there aren't any bad songs on the record. Every song is entertaining in its own curious way, be it because of a cool lead riff or a hilarious lyric, and the choruses are absolutely infectious, so expect some big sing alongs if these guys ever gain enough popularity to play bigger venues. If you're looking for a fresh, fun, light hearted pop punk record, look no further than The Hextalls. [7 1/2]

Get Smashed - Uncle Critic

Reviewed by Uncle Critic | January 26th, 2010

Thanks to the Hextalls we've got our first great pop punk album of 2010! The Hextalls bust in your face with an album full of booze, hockey, video games, and just in general awesomeness. The only thing I don't like about this album is the intro/outro of the first song "I'm a Recluse!" I'll admit I was a bit scared when I first heard it but the song quickly settled into something I enjoy. This band is a constant for fun songs and this album is no exception, I actually laughed out loud the first time I heard "My Dad vs Shina Twain". "Pacman" is a great song, about... PACMAN! Like this song or you're a shitty person. The next couple of songs are all fun in different ways, "Rally" is short and to the point, I love it. Coming up after that we finally get our first hockey reference, it took six fucking songs but that's fine because it was worth the wait, I support any anti-New York song. "The Final Countdown II" the most epic song title on the album, it's not what you think it is. The Hextalls also know how to give the lady's what they want, power ballad. Ok maybe the name isn't totally descriptive, but it's a power ballad Hextalls style. Enough of that sappy stuff through, let's get back to video games. Wait a minute "My Xbox Got the Red Ring of Death" isn't actually about an xbox... or is it? You be the judge. "I'm an Alcoholic!" I might have to adopt as my new personal anthem, drinking, not wanting to go to work, these things interest me in my daily life. "Diaper Change", quick, catchy, it'll be stuck in your head soon. After that you might be thinking you've probably hit all the best stuff on the album so far. You might also think "hm, the album cover has an arcade machine on the cover but I've only heard a couple video games so far", enter "We're the Castle Crashers" or as I like to call it, the best song on the album. If you've played the game you're already running through it in your head, this song is almost as great as the game is. After that it seems the band got tried of having songs that weren't named after people, because that's what we get for the next four in a row. But that's cool songs about people are always fun, especially "Tina Turner". Also among the 'songs that have people names' I want to give a shout out to "Kristine" because that chick sounds awesome, hit me up. Closing out the album is a sixteen second song that's perfect to close out a Hextalls album.

Get Smashed - Wonka Vision

Reviewed by Sean Phelan | January 25th, 2010

As expected from the name of the band, an obvious nod to famed Philadelphia Flyers goaltender, Ron Hextall, who was renowned both for his fiery temper as well as being one of the finest puck-handlers at his position to ever play the game, this album proves long on machismo and short on bravura. They named the album Get Smashed, after all. The songs are indubitably sophomoric, in the Blink 182 or Lit sense, but there is something to be said about feel-good anthems centered around beer parties, hockey, and unwanted babies named Tina Turner. It is this slight tinge of unhinged mania that keeps the record interesting, though also conjuring worry about the mental health of Canada's high school students.

What one loves about pop punk music, like the surf music that infuses it, is the aesthetic chords, where simpler equals better. It's really a basic and foundational rock 'n' roll arrangement where you start with the bass-driven backbeat and then another supplementary guitar set comes in that does something to the original chords. It's like a set of waves in many ways, facially similar, but always different in sequence and combination. These guys certainly have the simple and similar parts down, but the flourishes are lacking.

There are no real highlights on this record, as the songs just sort of blend into one another, like a beer stain of banality. "My Dad vs. Shania Twain", a song about the lead singer's dad masturbating to Shania Twain, and "I Met Her At the Ropetow", the closest a band can come to ripping off Blink 182 without involving copyright lawyers, are a little better than listenable. Thank God high school is over.

Rating: 2/5