Kick Your Ass at Minigolf - Uncle Critic

Reviewed by Uncle Critic | June 24th, 2010

Who doesn't like some Canadians that like hockey, drinking, video games and pop punk? Well if you don't you should probably just fuck off because this is about the Hextalls. They've always on course for putting out great stuff and this 7" is no exception. Out on Rally Records this four song record has a lot of great stuff, and a cover where hockey meets minigolf. Buy this record or be an asshole (the kind that no one really likes).

'Born To Minigolf' A warning within a song, don't challenge the Hextalls to minigolf, because they'll accept, and kick your ass.

'Martin Lawrence' He's funny and black, he's Martin Lawrence. While I don't agree that Martin is better than Eddie Murphy (ok maybe if you look at Eddie's current stuff), he is great and so is this song about him.

Have that guy that keeps trying to be your friend and you hate him? Apperently that's Jeff.

'Ramones T-Shirt' Widely accepted as the Hextalls best song, I can't disagree. The story of a girl that's a horrible person.

Call It A Career - Friction

Reviewed by Jason Schreurs | April 15th, 2003

Geez, and I expected more from a band that has an infatuation with a washed-up Philadelphia Flyers goalie. This Kamloops, BC pop punk band are trying way too hard to be offensive -- their anti-breastfeeding anthem is just plain wrong -- while homogenizing their sound to the nth degree. Almost identical in sound to another BC Shredder signing, The McRackens (where are those eggheads now?), the Hextalls are stoopid to the max. Fans of pop punk might enjoy Call It a Career, but the feeling will fade very fast. Like cheap bubble-gum, this loses its flavor almost immediately.

Call It A Career - Splendid

Reviewed by Phillip Buchan | September 12th, 2002

If a grindcore band peppers its chaotic din with lyrical absurdities, they will likely be touted as brilliant satirists, no matter how sophomoric the subject matter. When pop punk bands try to pen such lyrics, they are decried for their immaturity and lack of intelligence. While this appears to be a double standard, the remedial level of musicianship required to perform pop-punk all but begs underdeveloped artists to pen tunes about poo-poo, pee-pee and all manner of naughty sex acts. While The Hextalls may yet be a bunch of budding Frank Zappas deep down, the fact that their songs are saturated in Ramones-isms means that they probably have a really horrible junior high sense of humor. Song titles like as "Boobs" and "Shaving Ryan's Privates" are sure to register well with the Blink 182 worshipping set, but The Hextalls will have a harder time competing with the big dogs on the musical front. Of course, the songs are mildly catchy -- what pop song isn't? -- but the truly genius hooks that make a tune memorable ten years down the road are noticeably absent. Guitar tones are crisp and vocals are adequate (except for the Muppet-like cries from the background), but neither are given a chance to sparkle because of the mundane song structures.

The band does get one thing right with these lyrics from "3 Chords": "There's only so many things you can do with the rotten same three chords...Because people think that it's boring, no one cares / It just doesn't take talent, no one cares." There's always something to be said for honest lyrics; it's just too bad that The Hextalls are blatantly ignoring the truth, even when it comes from their own mouths.

Call It A Career - OX Fanzine [Germany]

Reviewed by Joachim Hiller | September/October/November 2002

[Translated (poorly) from the original German article with Yahoo! Babelfish]

Small mystery obligingly/pleasingly? The volume comes from Canada, is explained Hockey fan (see also album Artwork), plays ramonesken Pop Punk and their name begins with an H. Naaaaa? Wrongly! The HANSON BROTHERS is not meant, but the HEXTALLS, which originates even also still from the same Federal State, i.e. out British Columbia.

"Call It A Career" is their second album, which is again first release on Shredder record for three years, and fans of QUEERS, SCREECHING WEASEL, CHIXDIGGIT and so on come here absolutely at their expense.

Apropos CHIXDIGGIT: of them "Chinese girls" comes in part with the hidden TRACK to the employment. Now there are not straight few volume, at so a hochmelodiösen Punkrock sound tries and is boring unfortunately most to unoriginell, but the HEXTALLS, which in the photo in the info. look rather young (there are not names of the volume members also, but under the four is also a woman), have each quantity juvenile energy and to write besides correctly good texts - times politically, times complete rubbish (over Hockey playing grandmothers and the envy on babies sucking at the breasts of their mothers about...), in any case however charmingly.

Wer's thus gladly ramonesig has, should access. (38: 58) (7/10)

Call It A Career - Razorcake

Reviewed by Jimmy Alavardo | 2002

I guess you could call playing in a suck-ass cookie cutter pop punk band a "career," but how about if I just call the resulting music a pile of shit? It seems more accurate.

Call It A Career - Maximum Rock n Roll

Reviewed by Willy Aadnoy | 2002

File this one under Mutant Pop. Although this marks the return of Shredder Records (Yay!!, welcome back!) out of San Rafael, California, this has the perfect Mutant Pop sound and formula. Fans of the label will know what I mean. This has a decided mid-90's pop punk feel to it and the Screeching Weasel and Darlington influences shine through. It is lighthearted stuff with songs such as 3 Chords, Ron Hextall vs. Grandma and Boobs ("I don't think little kids should get more boobs than me"). Hailing from Kamloops, British Columbia in Canada, these hockey loving punkers offer up 14 tunes for your enjoyment. Count me amongst their fans.